Year Two: Sketches from Week 1 (March 29 - April 5, 2015)

It's been just over a year now since I "quit" my blog in frustration over the drawings and memories I'd lost when I left my sketchbook in the rain... that book contained all my experiences from the last few weeks of my yearlong illustrated journey and it was horrendously irresponsible of me to have left it outside. I was just in a mad hurry. Whatever happened to my year of trying to slow down, breathe, and record an irreplaceable moment? It was damn thoughtless of me to have left my book on that boulder... 

I didn't stop sketching, however. There have been plenty of amazing experiences since that mishap... it's just that I'd lost the will to keep going with it on a daily basis. I guess I was wondering what the point was, anyway. 

Oftentimes I see a lot of hesitancy and nervousness when people who think they have no drawing skills pick up a pen and try to draw. This may leave you incredulous but that's true of me, too! Seriously... I always start a drawing with some trepidation. Sometimes I don't even want to draw... I think I fear rejection and shame from producing something "worthless" to myself or others. I don't want to make mistakes. I don't want to give away the fact that maybe I just don't know what the hell I'm doing...

I re-started my blog out of sheer instinct. There was an instance where I just couldn't help myself... to let the moment go unrecorded would have been just another obstinate act of stupidity on my part. Adan was measuring out hundreds of yards of blue fabric and, because it was taking quite a few minutes, I just started drawing him. Soon there were a few laughs and smiles going around as the news got passed around the warehouse that he had suddenly appeared in a drawing. Happiness... and appreciation. A connection between myself and the others that went beyond the conventional roles we had previously filled. A burning, tingling feeling all around me that shouted "This is right. Just right!!!". 

Is that all? A memorable moment for us all. A moment where fear and hesitation give way for inspiration to swell my chest and personal connections to remind me that yes, you and everyone else matter in our own miniscule way. 

I don't know. I'm just happier when I'm drawing. Other people seem happier. That's good enough for me. So I'll keep going...